Monday Morning Shift

These plants look beautiful, but not at this location.
They must be eradicated according to administration.
I brought out my tools; Some gloves and a spade,
Then sat down, Indian style, to begin the raid.
The roots, like little fingers, held on to dear life
As I cut through their homes with an oddly-shaped knife.

To justify these cruel killings
I thought of what they’ve done:
Suffocated the superior plants
And blocked out the lovely sun.

But what makes one plant superior and the other inferior?
Just the fact that the other has a beautiful exterior?
They are simply trying their best to make a living.
We must see past our differences and be more forgiving.

But these thoughts lead down to a dangerous road;
Let’s not personify each seed we’ve sowed.

The sun now rises and heats the ground.
The ice embedded within melts all around,
And now a nice wet spot on my pants is found
Which leaves me thinking of thoughts more profound:
“I really hope no one’s looking at me right now.”


Haiku #3

We’re in a hurry.
Now by watching us humans,
The cold wind is too.


A mist falls all around a little child
It’s so wild that she questions her wits.
This must be an abnormality in the matrix.

“We’re in a cloud”
Her father says aloud.

Surely he must be out of his mind!
Brainwashed to think this is perfectly fine!
Clouds are in the sky, and this is land.
They can’t be down here, you told me firsthand!

The child is still comprehending this new revelation
When a minute later they descend to a lower elevation

This fog, this mist, it has instantly cleared.
She looks back, and finds it’s just as she feared.
They were atop a giant rock
That’s jutted from the ground.
A rock so high in the sky
That it wears a fluffy crown.

Snobby Dog

We’re driving around on a sunny Sunday
When suddenly a dog gets in our way.
“Little dog, please stay out of the street.”
The dog then replies, “Are you talking to me?”
It speaks feeling superior and elite

“I have two sentient beings
Who bow before my feet.
They shower me with adoration
And keep my room nice and neat.
So I will now conquer all creation
For some more of their doggy treats.”

We honk twice, and hope it will suffice
to motivate this canine to accept our advice.

“Alright, I will postpone my operation
To conquer all of Earth’s creation
And will allow you to pass by
With your weird giant metal device”

New Student

Please present yourself to the class
By sharing none of your secret past

Tell us your residence, your aspirations,
Your chosen major’s concentration,
And maybe some more background knowledge
As to why you’re attending this specific college.

But anything more is unnecessary
I mean, who cares your birthday’s in February?

We learn not by the things you say
But by the image you portray
From the way you walk, talk, and stare
And the ridiculous length of your untamed hair

Learning any more is unnecessary
Learning any more is a little too scary